Hitchcock 100

Hitchcock 100


Running 100 miles is really hard for me. elevating my HR and staying in that state for 16-17ish hours seems about my max l, time and time again. But I keep coming back. Because I will forever risk failure verse not showing up. I can take a loss here, but I will always show up.

Hitch 100 2019 was a dnf. A DNF bc I was not strong enough to fight through the fatigue and sore legs in the fridged cold any longer, that's what it was. I made mistakes at crucial times of the day.

This is how it went down. 

I had doubts before the race even started that people believed I could do this. Ik that's stupid, but my mind went there. I tried to make it come back, did some meditation, told myself I'm bad at that mediation thing, shifted to not even trained up enough for this thoughts, who am I kidding starting a race on the training I've done, what am I even doing? And we haven't even got to the start line. This is all Friday afternoon in the camper. Finally a distraction opportunity arises and I get to spend the rest of the evening with my best friends in the world almost getting booted from a Subway bc of pure honest joy and laughter of being in each other's presence. Then back in the camper, brain is good, stuff is set our for morning, alarms are set for 330 and 4:00. Tell myself I need good sleep. Out.

12:30 up - is it time yet ? No ok
2:30 check again.
4:45 watch vibrates with a call
"Hey where are you."
"Fuck!"
"I'll come get you. "
"Nah I'll be good. See y'all in a bit."

4:46 Panic. Disbelief and dissapintment.

4:47 no time. Pack bags and put on some clothes and hurry to the start. Run up the road and see everyone starting. Throw bag down, restroom, beet juice, degrading self talk, mirror glance , out the door, fake smile, feet on the dirt. Real smile.

back in the mix of runners

Trying to make the events of the morning light, sharing it with a side of laughter and nonchalantness. Dark trail, crappy clothing choices, dim headlamp, sleep in my eyes, fall. Profanity. Forced smile. Back up.

Campground A.S. - Camper. Change out of my pants that have pockets full of bullshit I grabbed but don't need. Leave in shorts and my tee and jacket. Ask myself about my choices. Convince me I don't have time to worry about them. Run. Run. Drink. Frozen. No water. Ugh! Get to Oasis Aid Station. Put hydration pack under coat. Be convincing in the fact that I'm fine. Question that myself. Let the thought fade. feel faded  Get back out of aid. Try drink later. Still frozen.

Get thru the first loop back to where I was a complete shitshow 2 hours ago. Regroup. Change out of shorts. Apply SNB, drop lbs of soaked clothes on the floor. Dry off. Switch to a handheld water bottle. Mentally tell myself i can get this back. Absorb words of encouragement. Make mental note to remember them. Body scan. New everything. Take time .be patient. Leave start finish. Head out on trail.

Talk myself up. Catch a glimpse of feeling 'in my groove" and feeling good. Grab onto it. Remember I love this all. Smile. Feel 'away from the world for a bit." Hang on to it. Remember I've been craving this day for months. Let myself lean into it. Free fall.  Run. Get to campground. Eat, enjoy the people. Meet fellow 100 miler runner, chat and get thru loop 2. Feel good coming in. See fam! Joy. Change wet clothes. Spend too much time. Feel good tho. Leave.

Freezing, can't get hands to warm up. mind stays focused on cold. Can't think of other things. Force it. Fight to get to campground, ask how far that runner friend is, bored and alone. Fight to try and catch someone to distract me. Get to Oasis. In a good mood bc I remember how I was last time I was here. Back out. Put in work. Climb some big hills much slower. Tell myself I may have 1 more loop in me. Question my training. Tell myself 50 is enough. Get loop 3 done.

Chat with fam at start finish. Eat food. Find out our friend dropped. Process that. Eat more food. Drink lots. Adjust who's pacing for loops 5&6. Vocally confess I don't think I have loop 5 in me. Let alone 6. Listen. Absorb.  Tell myself I'm doing ok. Get started on loop 4. Freeze. Execute tatics to warm my core. Find a good system of small changes to keep from getting too sweaty or too cold.  climb hills slower, run flats and downs  get to Oasis in good mood. Close out the loop wanting to be done and take 50 finish. Get talked into keeping going. Go out with AW. Pure joy. Laughter. Been excited for this. Legs are trash but we running.minimal time at aids. Loop 5 done.

Try and stop and take 50 finish. Ik deep down I don't have much left in me at all.  Talked into going back out with JK. Pure joy to be with her. Mostly hiking now, legs trash. Grateful to be out here with herm stomach starting to make it known it's gonna get real bad. Fear. Fear. Energy stores gone. Tell myself I want to take a break and figure out how to want to be out here. Lay in camper at campground A.S. Sleep. Wake. Sleep. Wake. Check time figure I can still get it done.

Get pack. Headlamp. Pee. Get hand warmers, gloves. Ready. Get encouragement. Get told I can't go finish. Confusion. Stay calm,  Understanding. Onward.
Clean camper.
Hug Rd.
Drive.
Ihop
Drive
See Ellie, recap weekend with the girls, chat about lessons learned, crazy adventures and living life to the fullest.
Drive
Home
Soak
Write.
Pizza.

Trails,
Jeff